Oh, Chris Potter, how could you? At the end of a perfectly nice column in City Paper you had to take a gratuitous slap at Our Fair City:
And that's just the beginning. As state law spells out, "No change in classification ... shall become effective until 10 years after the certification" of the population loss. In the meantime, the courts would appoint a commission to recommend changes to the government structure. Pittsburgh would become a third-class city only if city officials did nothing to act on those changes.
Granted, city officials doing nothing is a foregone conclusion -- especially if taking action might threaten their jobs. But there's another, much more likely, option. The legislature could rewrite the definition of a second-class city, so it included cities with fewer than 250,000 people. Harrisburg did this after the 2000 Census, to protect the status of Lackawanna and Fayette counties.
Still by 2030, it's at least possible we could have a whole different city ... a place like, say, McKeesport. Reformers take heart!
| Pittsburgh has ... | while McKeesport has ... | |
| a symphony | a symphony | |
| a public library system | a public library system | |
| a public park system | a public park system | |
| a waterfront | a waterfront | |
| Pittsburgh also has ... | while McKeesport has ... | |
| a city-school combined wage tax rate of 3 percent | a city-school wage tax rate of 1.7 percent | |
| a mayor who’s a former college football player and ... er ... that’s it | a mayor who’s a former vice president of Mellon Financial Corp. and old enough to shave | |
| Act 47 distressed status | a budget surplus | |
 | | |
I was home from work about three weeks ago and had an odd visitor in the afternoon. A guy in his early 20s, looking entirely too eager, was on the front porch. He was dressed too self-consciously hip to be a Mormon or a Jehovah's Witness.
"Can I talk to you for a few minutes?" he said.
"I'm kinda busy," I said, because I was.
"Well, I'm here taking a survey in your area about dining out," he said. "You like to eat out, right?"
I rolled my eyes. "What are you selling?"
He showed me a gift certificate to a so-called "upscale" chain restaurant located at the Waterfront in Homestead. It's one of those restaurants with fake kitschy crap hanging on the walls. Those of you who know my dislike of chain restaurants with crap on the walls know that it wasn't an enticement.
"All you have to do is answer a few questions about dining out, and we'd like to give you this voucher, absolutely free, for $50 in free food from Fancy Chain Restaurant With Crap On The Walls," he said.
"Thank you," I said, "but I'm not interested."
The guy practically stuck his foot in the door. "All you have to do is answer some questions."
"No, thank you," I said.
Now he was pissed. "So I guess you don't like to eat out for free," he said.
"I do," I said, "but not at your lousy restaurant." And I closed the door on him.
. . .
I'm not 100 percent sure, but I have my suspicions, that this guy was working for a multi-level marketing company. Only someone who had been brainwashed ... er, I mean, highly trained by skillful professionals ... would have been that persistent, and frankly that rude, when I said "no."
The excellent website Consumerist has been investigating a company that hires recent college graduates and promises them a career in "business-to-business sales." After indoctrinating them with techniques that some would describe as cult-like, it sends them out on door-to-door sales calls.
If you're a recent graduate or a current student looking for a summer job, and you see an ad on Monster, CareerBuilder, or some other service offering "entry-level sales and promotional jobs," compare it to one of these to make sure it's not a scam. Jobs that promise "limited and immediate" openings, "intensive, hands-on training," and "unlimited growth potential" should set off alarm bells, according to Consumerist.
. . .
Another young salesman came to my door over the weekend. He had the same overly-enthusiastic, cheese-eating grin. "I'm not trying to change your religion," he said, "I just want to talk to you for a few minutes."
"I'm listening," I said through the screen door.
"I'm conducting a survey on behalf of the Pittsburgh Pirates," he said. "As a reward for answering a few questions, we'd like to give you a voucher good towards your purchase of tickets to an upcoming Pirates home game."
"I'm not interested," I said.
"That's cool," he said, "but can I write down why not?"
"Yes," I said. "Write down that I'm tired of Mr. Nutting screwing over the fans, and that I'm not spending a dime on that team until they draft some decent players."
He started to laugh ... and wrote it down. I suspect I wasn't the only one who told him that. I wonder if he's still working for the Pirates, or whatever marketing company sent him out on that suicide mission.
. . .
Now along comes a message from Officer Jim about a proposed "walk-out" to be staged Saturday, June 30 when the Pirates play the Washington Nationals at PNC Park:
I've been hearing about this for a while now, and I am seriously thinking about taking off and going. I doubt it will change anything, and I doubt if enough people will do it to make anyone notice, but I'm really thinking about it.
A couple of weeks ago I treated the sleek, gray Mercury to a tune-up ... new spark plugs, air filter, fuel filter. I was at an auto parts store in Our Fair City (hmm, that narrows it down now that Carquest has closed) and in an attempt to make small talk with the cashier I read the side of the spark-plugs and said, "Gee, made in the U.S.A. At least something still is."
She snapped at me: "Well, maybe everything wouldn't be made in China if Americans weren't so lazy and overpaid."
Though I thought about whipping my union card out of my wallet, I bit my tongue --- especially since she still hadn't approved my check yet. But I thought to myself: "You're working in an auto parts store. Do you think you're overpaid?"
. . .
Americans work more hours and get fewer holidays than any other industrialized nation, according to study after study and story after story.
There are still pockets of laziness and featherbedding, and yes, I've heard all of the stories about guys sleeping in cranes at National Works in the 1970s and blah, blah, blah, but I'd argue that overall, American productivity is probably at its highest point since World War II.
American quality is up, too --- among carmakers, Ford beat Toyota in the latest J.D. Power survey of best-made automobiles.
It's just difficult for American factories to compete with the Chinese since they're not allowed to put antifreeze in children's cough syrup and lead paint on toys.
Nor can American factories cut wages to ensure profitability, especially since they're not allowed to employ children or slaves.
. . .
I love the products sold in dollar stores, Wal-Mart and elsewhere that feature big American flags on their packages and then, in small print, say "Designed in the U.S.A." On the back they say, "Made in China."
But I saw a new variation on this the other day at a store in Olympia Shopping Center. It had an American flag and in tiny type underneath said, "Proudly distributed in the U.S.A." I didn't know whether to applaud the manufacturer's ingenuity or throw up.
Other than the war in Iraq and our deteriorating foreign policy, I'd really like to see one of the presidential candidates say something --- anything --- about the imbalance of trade and our collapsing manufacturing sector. Personally, I think it's much more destructive than illegal immigration.
Simply blocking imports isn't the answer, nor are prohibitively high tariffs. But we certainly have a right to defend ourselves against products that are making people ill.
. . .
Ultimately, some of the blame falls on us for not complaining to stores and manufacturers. But even if you try to buy American --- and I do --- it's becoming more and more difficult to find any products made here. Even extremely high-end goods are starting to come from China.
The steel industry was the canary in the coal mine. Its collapse foretold the decline of the American textile and furniture industries, and with the Chinese about to enter the U.S. car market, the already-shaky domestic automakers could very well be the next to tumble.
The "creative class" might pipe up (no pun intended, McKeesporters) and tell me that smokestack industries are dead, but not everyone is qualified to work in academia and research. And for defense purposes alone, I'd argue that we need to have some manufacturing base in this country.
Besides, even creative jobs (like journalism!) are being sent overseas. Unless you're in some service industry that depends on face-to-face contact, like retailing, your job could very well be the next to go.
("First they came for the steelworkers, but I wasn't a steelworker ...")
. . .
Blame Wall Street's continual demands for higher profits from American corporations. Blame Congress for gutting American trade policy and slashing regulatory budgets. Blame pundits who have prescribed "free trade" at all costs and damn the consequences.
But for crying out loud, stop blaming American workers.
. . .
P.S.: Besides curing a nasty little hesitation that had developed on acceleration, the tune-up improved my gas mileage by 3 to 4 mpg. If you're tired of paying $3 for a gallon of gas and your car has more than 90,000 miles on it, consider a set of plugs.
Even the supremo top-of-the-line platinum jobs won't set you back more than $3 or $4 each. Throw on a set of new plug wires, too. AC-Delco, Autolite and Champion plugs are made in the United States, and others are, too. Even if you're not mechanically inclined, it's not hard to do yourself, or have a local garage do it when you're in for state inspection.
We'll get to today's Almanac after this word from our sponsor, Mayorex Exterminating. Remember, one call to 412-55-LUKEY stops pest infestations before they disrupt your golf tournaments or other sporting events.
. . .
Flicker Ticker: Regarding Saturday's Almanac, let me make one thing perfectly clear. There's no question that Michael Wilson is talented and that he can capture McKeesport or any other subject on film.
The problem --- if there is a problem --- is that hiring the director of Michael Moore Hates America instantly alienates a certain percentage of the potential audience. Rightly or wrongly, some people who otherwise might be sympathetic to this documentary are going to view any project that Wilson does with a certain amount of suspicion, instead of judging the project on its own merits. They're going to be looking for hidden biases, even if there aren't any.
It's similar, though not as bad, as if Michael Moore himself or, say, Al Franken were involved. Even if Franken were the funniest thing since the Marx Brothers (I find him tiresome) some percentage of consumers immediately reject his work because of his past political projects.
I am willing to give Wilson a chance and I'm rooting for him. I'd be more comfortable if someone more neutral were working on the project, but perhaps a controversial, contrarian viewpoint is exactly what we need.
For the record, by the way, the Tube City Almanac is neither neutral nor fair and balanced. We love the Mon-Yough area. So nyahh.
. . .
‘Worst ... Musical ... Ever!’: Alert Reader Jonathan sends along this screen-capture from the website of A Local Newspaper. I was on the stage crew (cough, cough, dork!) for the musicals in high school and frankly, a fatal car-accident might have been more entertaining.
. . .
Uh-oh, Better Get Maaco: You probably heard that they finally dug up a 1957 Plymouth Belvedere that was buried in a time capsule under the lawn of the Tulsa, Okla., city hall. As noted before in the Almanac, one of my all-time favorite cars is the 1957-58 Plymouth, but lawdy, they were rust buckets.
The poor '57 in Tulsa was no exception. It didn't help that the concrete used for the burial vault was porous.
Think about that if you're pre-planning your funeral. You might as well get the cheapest casket they offer.
Or have them bury you in a '57 Plymouth.
On second thought, give me the Plymouth and I'll trade you a casket.
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