May 31, 2008

Call Arnold Slick From Turtle Crick

I've mentioned before one of my favorite shows is the Canadian sitcom "Corner Gas."

The other day, I watched the Season 4 episode called "The Good Old Table Hockey Game," which incorporates "The Hockey Song" by the great folk singer Stompin' Tom Connors.

Well, then I listened to Mike Lange call Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals, and one thing led to another ...

Anyway, the tape-splicing elves at Tube City Omnimedia's World Headquarters were busy all night Friday and into Saturday morning.

Enjoy, if that's the word, but please credit the Almanac, and don't use it for commercial purposes:

"The Hockey Song" by Stompin' Tom Connors (with Mike Lange) MP3, 2.8MB (re-edited 7:30 p.m.)

Now I'm going to bed, and if I'm lucky, I'll dream happy thoughts about Gabrielle Miller.

And if I'm unlucky, I'll be dreaming of Stompin' Tom's lawyers.

Posted at 03:16 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: So-Called Radio Humor | two comments | Link To This Entry

May 30, 2008

Get Your Motor Running

Maybe you remember a shortlived sitcom in which Dan Aykroyd played a motorcycle-riding Episcopal priest.

(Don't feel bad if you don't --- nobody was watching.)

Well, Our Fair City has its very own "Soul Man" in the Rev. Dr. Jay Geisler, rector of St. Stephen's Episcopal Church at the corner of Walnut and Eighth streets, Downtown.

A dedicated motorcycle buff since his high school years in the North Hills, Geisler and St. Stephen's will hold their third-annual "Blessing of the Bikes" after this Sunday's 10 a.m. service.

"I'm actually putting back together my BMW 850," Geisler says. (He's painting the fuel tank right now.)

Geisler, of East Pittsburgh, says the service is designed to pay tribute to the bikers and also raise awareness of motorcycle safety among the general public.

He should know --- years ago, Geisler barely escaped serious injury when a woman didn't see him and his cycle and drove in front of him near Wexford.

Geisler flipped over the hood and walked away bruised and sore, but otherwise unscathed.

. . .

His first bike was a little Suzuki 185 that he used to commute back and forth to LaRoche College, and to his summer jobs at Jones & Laughlin Steel Co. plants in Aliquippa and on the South Side.

"I drove that all year around --- I even bought a fluorescent orange snowsuit to ride with," Geisler says. "I even customized it, chromed it out."

When he graduated, he upgraded to a BMW; that bike was sold when he entered the seminary.

Geisler bought his current bike when he got his first pastoral assignment. He's now been at St. Stephen's for five years, and has worked with parishioners to reintegrate the church into the surrounding Downtown and Third Ward neighborhoods.

. . .

Events like the motorcycle blessing help tie the church to the community; so does the new electronic sign on Walnut Street, which St. Stephen's uses to promote events and small businesses around the city.

"We're a church that realizes that your economic situation is as important as the spiritual situation," says Geisler, who notes that the future of St. Stephen's is inexorably tied to the survival of McKeesport.

"A lot of these churches have gotten elderly because the young people have moved away," he says. "There are abandoned churches all around us."

The pastor is also involved in community groups like the McKeesport Neighborhood Initiative, which is developing new, affordable houses for first-time homeowners. Geisler is a director of MNI.

"The people who pay taxes are the homeowners," he says. "What revitalizes an area is when people want to move in."

(It should be noted that Geisler is also an active leader in the Episcopalian Diocese of Pittsburgh; in fact, he's one of a number of clergy who have questioned a proposal by Pittsburgh Bishop Robert Duncan to pull the diocese out of the Episcopal Church in the United States.)

. . .

Geisler has had the opportunity to move to greener pastures, but says he frankly feels called to the Mon Valley.

"My great-grandfather was an Irish immigrant who signed an 'X' for his name," he says. "My father was a steelworker his whole life ... it's one of the reason I've always worked in these milltowns.

"That's why I've been committed here. I didn't have the heart to leave Pittsburgh after all this time."

. . .

The blessing of motorcycles and their riders will be held following this Sunday's 10 a.m. service. St. Stephen's is located at the corner of Walnut Street and Eighth Avenue, near the main post office. Following the blessing, a caravan of bikes will head east to Route 30 and Ligonier. For more information, call (412) 664-9379.

. . .

In Other Business: A friend of mine from the Tribune-Review (I still have a few) says I was unduly harsh in my criticism of the recent Mon-Fayette Expressway forum, which I called a "pep rally" and a "publicity stunt."

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," he says. "Do you still need a good act of contrition?"

Actually, I owe a mea culpa or two myself. In all honesty, the stories written by all of the Trib Total Media papers were very fair and balanced, and took pains to quote critics of the MFX who attended the forum; I didn't detect any pro-highway bias.

Also, the Trib is not solely to blame for the selection of the panelists. The forum was co-sponsored by the Pennsylvania Newspaper Association and the Pennsylvania Cable Network.

I apologize for smearing the reporters and editors involved, and in the spirit of this weekend's motorcycle blessing, I will meditate on Romans 3:23.

. . .


March for Peace Saturday: The Brother to Brother Leadership Forum will host a "March for Peace" tomorrow from Duquesne to McKeesport. The march will begin at 10 a.m. at the corner of Hoffman Boulevard and Duquesne Boulevard (near Kennywood Park) and end at Kennedy Park on Lysle Boulevard.

According to a spokesman, the march will "highlight the need for community reunification and dialogue around the issue of urban violence," which a press release calls "a scourge that plagues many of our communities."

Families who have been the victims of violent crimes are invited to attend, along with residents and elected and school officials.

The leadership forum is a community group created and run by African-American men from Allegheny County that's designed to organize positive community activities like mentoring programs. In March, it hosted a day-long forum at McKeesport Area High School called "All Guns Down: Jobs Not Jail," which attracted more than 400 participants.

For more information on the march, call Rashad Byrdsong at (412) 371-3689 or visit the Community Empowerment Association website.

Posted at 07:12 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Events, News | six comments | Link To This Entry

May 29, 2008

Things Ain't What They Used to Be

According to some people I know, that's what McKeesport used to look like.

The streets were filled with well-dressed people, the buildings were shiny, the grass was greener and the sidewalks were freshly scrubbed.

Or, to paraphrase something John Oliver said on The Daily Show, McKeesport in the "boom years" was the kind of place where "everyone whistles all the time and women's breasts (were) a lot pointier."

Now, here's a photo that was recently given to Tube City Online by a frequent reader of the Almanac:

That's the 500 block of Fifth Avenue, looking toward the Youghiogheny River, in roughly 1970. (I can date the picture from the "Shapp for Governor" sign in the background.)

Again, here's the myth:

And here's the reality:

That's West Fifth Avenue at Rebecca Street, before the ramp to 10th Ward was completed. For everyone who thinks West Fifth Avenue looks shabby now, let's face it --- it didn't look any better in the "good ol' days."

In fact, the Mon Valley never reminded anyone of the French Riviera or San Francisco. This has always been a rough-and-tumble, gritty area. (Notice I avoided using the word "hardscrabble.")

Sure, in the "old days" people had more money in their pockets, because it was easier to find a job in the mill. But to some extent, that's true almost everywhere. Good-paying, entry-level jobs have almost disappeared across the entire United States --- not just the Mon Valley.

We're also guilty of creating a mythology about the past.

We remember how much fun it was to ride the train to Pittsburgh. We don't remember how the trains used to create giant traffic jams Downtown all day.

We remember great stores like Cox's and Jaison's and Immel's. We don't remember walking past dumpy-looking storefronts to get to them:

To some extent, everyone's memories are skewed. We remember the good, not the bad. When we were kids, candy was cheaper, music was better and the Pirates won every game.

The truth is that the Pirates stunk through most of the '40s and '50s, a nickel candy bar would cost about 50 cents today, and our parents and grandparents always thought our music was noise.

The problem for the Mon Valley is that we get trapped by nostalgia. Instead of appreciating what we have, we complain that "McKeesport ain't what it used to be."

In fact, it was never what it used to be in our imaginations, when we were 10 or 15 or 19 years old.

The danger is that we stop trying to make the present better, because nothing we do can live up to the impossibly high standards of our imaginary past.

Don't get stuck pining for something that never was. Take pride in what we have.

Let's try to make our neighborhoods, churches or businesses a little bit better, not so they can look like they supposedly did 50 years ago, but so that we can enjoy them now.

So don't worry about "bringing the Mon Valley back." Worry about what it looks like going forward.

(This sugary homily was paid for by the Philanthropic Council to Make Things Nicer.)

Posted at 07:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: History, Mon Valley Miscellany | ten comments | Link To This Entry

May 28, 2008

Please, No More MFX Meetings

You may have noticed that I didn't go to the Mon-Fayette Expressway "town hall" at McKeesport Area High School last week.

I tried. Oh, Lordy, I tried. In case you haven't noticed, I'm doing independent half-baked guerrilla journalism at the Almanac, and covering events helps me maintain my street cred.

But I do have a real job (you don't think this pays my bills, do you?) and by the time I got done at work, I would have had to race to MAHS.

Besides, I just couldn't muster what Jeff Kay would call "a single dingle" of enthusiasm over the idea of listening to the same old talking heads make the same old talking points.

Maybe I'm a weak man, but I just can't listen any more.

. . .

I went to my first MFX "information session" at First Presbyterian Church in Duquesne during the summer of my sophomore year of high school. That was almost 20 years ago.

Nothing much has changed since then, except that my mullet has become a comb-over.

In case you missed the coverage in the Tribune-Review, the Daily News, and the Gateway weeklies, here were the panelists:

• Joe Kirk, executive director of the Mon Valley Progress Council, which basically exists to plump for the Mon-Fayette Expressway;


• Andy Quinn, director of community relations of Kennywood, who has been an MFX backer for at least a decade;


• Chad Amond, president of the Monroeville Area Chamber of Commerce, which wants the MFX as a bypass around the Squirrel Hill Tunnels; and


• Joe Markosek, chairman of the House Transportation Committee, who represents Monroeville, and who also wants the MFX as a bypass around the Squirrel Hill Tunnels.

The panel also included Joseph Brimmeier, CEO of the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission. (Well, gee, he's certainly an impartial expert!)

That wasn't a town meeting. It was a pep rally.

Shame on the "Trib Total Media" newspapers (including the Daily News) for presenting this manufactured publicity stunt as if it was really a "forum" for discussion.

. . .

The arguments of MFX supporters are starting to become more and more strident, like those of the far-left and far-right in this country. If you disagree with any of President Bush's policies, the right calls you unpatriotic; if you agree with any of them, the left calls you a fascist.

Similarly, Mon-Fayette boosters like to deride opponents of the highways as "elitists" and "environmentalists."

Well, if living next to Bettis and driving a big V-8 powered yacht to work every day makes me an "elitist" and an "environmentalist," then paint me green and call me Tim Robbins.

. . .

Here's the thing: As longtime readers (both of you) know, I have really tried to warm up to the MFX.

But I resent being told that there are no possible drawbacks to an expressway that the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania can't afford to build, and can't afford to maintain once it's built.

I'm also tired of being told that the MFX is the only redevelopment solution for the Mon Valley.

Dozens of metropolitan areas are in terrible shape despite having expressways and beltways.

Have you driven through Youngstown lately? Expressways didn't do anything to keep industry and population from fleeing the Ohio Valley.

. . .

Some MFX backers point to the "success" of Cranberry Township and Southpointe as evidence that an expressway breeds development.

First, I'm not convinced that big sprawling shopping plazas are sustainable in the long-term when gasoline is topping four dollars a gallon.

Second, Butler and Washington counties offered virgin, untouched farmland for development. It's a lot cheaper to plow up farmland than to rehabilitate old millsites, like the ones in the Mon Valley.

After all, if expressways were great at spurring redevelopment of brownfields, then Washington, Pa., would be a boom town --- it's at the intersection of two interstates.

. . .

Well, I worked in Washington, and parts of it look just as bad as the worst parts of McKeesport and Duquesne.

Or, take a ride up the Beaver Valley Expressway --- a Turnpike Commission owned-and-operated toll road, like the MFX. I don't see very much development in former mill towns like Monaca, New Brighton and Ambridge.

Hell, I-70 is adjacent to Monessen and Charleroi! What has I-70 done for Monessen? Nothing.

. . .

Expressways are not a magic solution to the Mon Valley's woes. Unfortunately for us, the powers that be haven't tried to come up with any other solutions, because they've wasted the last 20 years talking about this expressway.

Yes, despite squandering thousands of hours and millions of dollars, they have almost nothing to show for their effort except an endless series of town meetings and some very expensive blueprints.

And after 20 years of supposedly working diligently on the section of the MFX that's supposed to be built inside Allegheny County, they still have no idea how to pay for it.

. . .

MFX proponents, here's my personal plea:

Please don't hold any more Mon-Fayette Expressway forums, town halls, information sessions, public meetings, comment periods, open houses, coffee klatches, bake sales, interpretative dances or orgies.

If you haven't convinced us after 20 years, you're not going to convince us now. And if you don't really want to hear dissenting opinions, then you're wasting our time and yours.

Either come up with a way to pay for the damned thing, or --- for the sake of all of us and the Mon Valley that I love --- shut up and move on.

Posted at 07:31 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Rants a.k.a. Commentary, The Mo-Fo Excessway | seven comments | Link To This Entry

May 27, 2008

On My Mind

Did you know that if you stop reading your email, checking other peoples' websites, and reading blogs and newsgroups for several days, the world continues to turn?

It's true. So I unplugged for a couple of days. Your indulgence is appreciated.

. . .

Police Shooting in Pittsburgh: A reader emailed me privately to ask why there haven't been any protests yet over Friday's fatal shooting by Pittsburgh police of a man armed with a butcher knife.

After all, he says, several groups protested the May 6 shooting of Justin Jackson up in Mt. Oliver as an example of police brutality.

OK, OK, I realize he's being sarcastic, and while I feel the quicksand rising around my ankles, I'm going to respond anyway.

First, if the cops approach you for any reason and you pull out a weapon --- whether it's a gun (as in the Mt. Oliver shooting) or a knife (in Oakland) --- expect to get shot.

And if a cop shoots you, they're going to shoot to kill. That's what they're trained to do.

So whether Jackson shot at a person, a police dog, the ground or the air, police were going to shoot back, and they were justified in doing so.

But Pittsburgh Police Chief Nate Harper did himself and the force no favors by over and over again equating the life of the police dog who was killed to the life of a human.

I've known enough human police officers with canine partners to understand that the dogs are members of the force, and I also know they hold their K-9 partners in serious regard. I also understand why police officers treat canine officers with that level of respect --- they trust those dogs to defend their own lives.

Unfortunately, that distinction is bound to be lost on the grieving family and friends of the man who was shot --- even if the police officer who shot him was acting properly, and even if the man was clearly in the wrong.

Put yourself in the place of the man's family. Even if he had a criminal record, would you think his life was less important than a dog's?

(By the way, anyone who knows how human police officers treat canine officers also knows that they would have never shot the dog themselves, as Jackson's family and others have alleged. The accusation is ridiculous.)

Furthermore, you'd have to be pretty tone deaf not realize that police dogs have a different connotation to many African-Americans --- especially those old enough to remember the 1960s --- than they do to whites or other ethnic groups. (The man shot in Mt. Oliver was African-American.)

Add all of these factors together, and it becomes apparent why the Mt. Oliver shooting became a natural flashpoint for protests, while the shooting in Oakland is unlikely to generate the same anger from anyone in the community.

I'm not blaming the police, but the aftermath of the Mt. Oliver incident could have been handled more sensitively.

. . .

Kennywood Dispute Settled: In case you missed it, West Mifflin council has approved a settlement with Kennywood that ends the amusement park's lawsuit against the borough.

As Pat Cloonan reported in the Daily News, the borough will lower its amusement tax rate, while Kennywood will pay less than half of what West Mifflin was demanding.

Let's hope that as West Mifflin goes forward, it starts applying the amusement tax evenly and fairly to all businesses and organizations subject to collection.

After all, Kennywood may have agreed to settle the case in order to make sure that its pending sale to the Spanish company Parques Reunidos went through without complications. (The sale is expected to close June 3.)

The settlement doesn't mean that West Mifflin's selective enforcement of the amusement tax was right. It wasn't. Almost inarguably it was unconstitutional.

And for those of you who think, "Well, Kennywood's rich, they could have paid the tax," that's not the point. Remember: All West Mifflin taxpayers, including Kennywood, deserve equal protection under the law.

If a big corporation like Kennywood can have its rights trampled, there would be nothing to stop a borough, city or township from stepping on much smaller taxpayers. Maybe even you.

. . .

And Finally: North Irwin Borough Council is trying to figure out who owns the town's municipal building, according to the Post-Gazette.

There apparently is some confusion over whether the deed is legally held by the borough, or the borough's sewerage authority.

One of the councilmen is quoted in Norm Vargo's story as worrying that having "two secretaries, a tax collector and police using the same office space" could lead to "confidential information of taxpayers" being shared.

Have you ever been to North Irwin? There are 879 residents, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. I'm guessing that there is no "confidential information" in North Irwin, because everyone probably knows everyone else's business to begin with.

Second, North Irwin is literally 0.2 square miles in area --- about five blocks wide. It's almost completely surrounded by North Huntingdon Township!

The question isn't "who owns town hall?" The question is, "Why is there a North Irwin, and why is it employing 'two secretaries, a tax collector and police'?" What a waste of money!

Posted at 07:08 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Mon Valley Miscellany | two comments | Link To This Entry

May 26, 2008

To Remember

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

--- Lt. Col. John McCrae MD, Canadian Expeditionary Force (1872-1918)

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Events | No comments | Link To This Entry