Category: default || By jt3y

A few weeks ago, I noted the startling resemblance between Dick Rickles and Don Cheney ... er, I mean Don Rickles and Dick Cheney. One of them is an insult comic, and the other is vice president, but after listening to the vice president speak, I'm not sure which is which.

In the interest of fairness, it's worth pointing out another similarity between a comedian and a politician, only this one is a Democrat. Let's see ... flushed complexion, angry finger-pointing, pudgy frame, wild hair ...

Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you the evidence that Al Gore is actually Lewis Black in disguise:




(Left, Associated Press; Right: Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Copyrights reserved by their respective holders.)

Just like Dick Cheney and Clark Kent, Black/Gore thinks that wearing glasses will disguise his real identity, but we know the truth. Obviously, Al Gore has been working the stand-up circuit for several years now.

He must have had a lot of gigs during 2000, because he sure as hell didn't spend the time working on his campaign.

(I wasn't the one who noticed the resemblance, by the way. Credit and a tip of the Tube City hard hat go to a poster at the Testy Copy Editors Web site.)

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It's always worth checking in with Chris Livingston's "Not My Desk Daily Journal" to see what he's been up to. Why someone hasn't given this guy a book contract is beyond me; he seldom fails to crack me up.

I don't want to spoil the punchlines, but read what (he says) happened when he sent a book to a friend in Georgia, and then tracked it using the UPS Web site.

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Subdivided Bob checks in on the passivity of Pittsburghers, who seem to do what they're told without complaining (even when they should), and composes the Pittsburgh Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to whine and moan about those things to people who are in no position to actually take action on my behalf, and the wisdom to realize that everybody but me is a jagoff.

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Those wascals at Google are up to no good.

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The fallout from the Georgie Bush National Guard memos continues. Where was this guy when Karl Rove or Dan Rather or pick-your-conspiracy-theory needed something to forge documents with?

By the way: Anyone who pays $200 for a Selectric is crazy enough to work for CBS News. I've garbage-picked them.

If you read the comments in this eBay seller's page, he's obviously pretty conservative. No doubt he took Vice President Rickles ... er, I mean Cheney to heart the other day when the vice president said that eBay is responsible for helping to lower unemployment. Who needs a real job with a pension and health insurance when they can sell on eBay, right?

See what I mean? It has to be Rickles in disguise. That's hysterical!

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I'll say this for the President, he's no shrinking violet. In the face of mounting evidence (the faked CBS memos aside) that he shaded some of his National Guard service, he goes to speak to ... the National Guard!

Maybe he wanted to finish the six months he still owes them?

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No wonder Clinton's heart gave out after he visited The Waterfront. Those wacky morning radio shows!

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Simply superb. Someone --- MoveOn.org? --- should have this printed in every newspaper in the country.

Or, better yet, maybe, oh, the Democratic candidate for President might want to speak up and say this. You know, if he's not too busy making that goofy face he makes when he wants to smile.

He'd better practice that smile, too. At the rate he's going, he's going to need to smile on Jan. 20, when he watches the presidential inauguration on television.

(Tip of the Tube City hard hat to Rip Rense.)

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Speaking of Yawn Kerry, his campaign strikes a blow for dignity with official Kerry for President playing cards. (Guess who the jokers are? No, not Nader and Dean.)

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I thought the clerks on the New York State Thruway were surly. Wow! That's only because I rarely drive in Jersey, according to The Smoking Gun.

Say what you may about the Pennsylvania Turnpike; I've never had a clerk offer to fist fight me. "Welcome to New Jersey: Now get the @#$! out!"

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"Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges!"

Yes, it's a Web site that tracks every known instance of that line in pop culture, going back to its debut in the 1935 novel The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, right through Tuesday's installment of the "Get Fuzzy" comic strip.

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Wednesday's "Get Fuzzy," by the way, is a classic.

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Erstwhile radio reporter and sometime Doug Hoerth guest Tom Leturgey has a blog.

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I'm sure that these are cheap, Chinese-made imitations, but I still think it's a cool idea. What a neat gift they'd be for some nostalgia buff or vinyl record fan!

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Does Kitty Kelley make this stuff up as she goes along? Beats me; I know her stuff is vetted by teams of highly-paid lawyers, so there must be some substance to it, or else she covers her tracks well.

Some of her stories seem to me to be a little too perfectly adapted to the left's preconceived notions of what the President is really like. On the other hand, as Hoerth says, I hope this anecdote is true, because it's too beautiful to be a lie:

(As) one of W.'s Yalie frat brothers tells Kelley, it's not the substance abuse in Bush's past that's disturbing, it's the "lack of substance ... Georgie, as we called him, had absolutely no intellectual curiosity about anything. He wasn't interested in ideas or in books or causes. He didn't travel; he didn't read the newspapers; he didn't watch the news; he didn't even go to the movies. How anyone got out of Yale without developing some interest in the world besides booze and sports stuns me." New Yorker writer Brendan Gill recalls roaming the Kennebunkport compound one night while staying there looking for a book to read --- the only title he could find was "The Fart Book."

Kelley leaves a crucial question unanswered: Namely, did Gill read it?

In any event, I hope it wasn't a scratch-and-sniff.