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Opinions expressed in commentaries are those of individual authors, not those of Tube City Community Media Inc.

So yeah, this Jonah Hill controversy/shenanigans. One word: CONTEXT. The movie-going public lines up to throw money at Mr. Hill precisely for his delivery of immature, vulgar, profane and rude comments. In fact, I'm pretty sure the same "slur" was used in a popular film, probably more than once. There's a reason it's called 'making fun of somebody'; because whoever isn't the target (and in the best circumstances, the target themselves) of the comment, generally find it amusing.

A second common use of 'slurs' is as a sort of jargon amongst groups of people, usually to imply an intimacy or bond between folks that share certain characteristics. It can be argued that the more 'offensive' the jargon is, the more it proves acceptance of the individual using/receiving it. Ironically, the use of the same word suddenly gains (retains?) a supreme level of insult when it's directed towards a 'non-member', or directed towards the group by a 'non-member'.

Or, as is more often the case, WHEN THE 'TARGET' HAS SOMETHING TO GAIN FROM TAKING OFFENSE. I'd be willing to wager that the person hounding Mr. Hill was overjoyed to get such a contentious sound bite --- think of the publicity (money)! Would any of us even know about the clip if all it contained was footage of questionable fashion choices? Of course not. If the Hound got the same comment from a non-celebrity I doubt they would have even noticed. Perhaps they would have muttered a profanity, scolded, shook their head, or maybe even smiled, but more than likely that would have been the end of it.

I firmly believe in the power of words, and I do understand that on rare occasions they can be hurtful, but it's really time that as a culture we stop trying to be hurt; stop trying to be victims, and stop wasting our energy looking for excuses as to why we can't move forward.

In the broader picture, if we're going to persist in the notion of personal perception in any particular circumstance as a 'societal norm' --- regardless of any fact, science, current common usage, literal definition or historical tradition --- then we have to accept what the individual declares as their meaning and intent in any situation.

I don't believe Mr. Hill believes that his comment was 'the most hurtful thing he could think of'. In my opinion, it was meant to be dismissive and not particularly inflammatory --- certainly not to be taken as a gross abuse hurled at an entire 'community'.

Unfortunately, celebrities aren't offered the same lenience as the 'rest of us' in defending their flippant commentary. Just saying something is "flippant" can be construed as insensitive to the person (or entire population) who interprets it differently at any particular moment.

But there does come a point (we may have already reached it) where it's impossible to say anything without the potential of an affront --- if someone CHOOSES TO UNDERSTAND IT AS AN AFFRONT.

Language changes over time and region --- it's become a very small world --- we no longer have the easy ability to only associate with like-minded people, and that's a good thing, as long as we're mature enough to accept the differences while being aware that humans are all pretty much the same.

Mistakes happen; things get said that maybe shouldn't have been, and yes, some people will not like certain other people and may even intentionally say hurtful things. Stop looking for the bullies and you'll find fewer of them.*

"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." -- Confucius

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me." --- The Christian Recorder, March 1862

*Just to spare myself a little verbal insult... I was "bullied" pretty extensively as a child and adolescent. I was overweight, bashful, an excellent student, close to poor, and I wore a c-cup at the age of nine.

I heard derogatory comments about each on a daily basis, and for a month or so in third grade I was literally groped every time I walked past a certain pair of desks if the teacher wasn't looking. Her eventual solution was to move me (away from my friend) to the other side of the room.

My bashfulness got me into trouble when I asked for a meeting with my science teacher to explain that I was uncomfortable speaking in front of the class --- I ended up being psychologically evaluated due to "immaturity" and "anti-social behavior", as a bonus my science grades were lower for the rest of the year. I got a million of 'em kids!

I'll spare you the details about the teacher (male this time) who made jokes about my "pom poms", the eventual Olympic athlete who regularly threw rocks and bricks at me at the bus stop, and the children of the high-ranking, law enforcement officer in the neighborhood, who regularly 'corralled' me to shove me around and flatten my bike tires, (when they weren't too busy "accidentally" shooting holes in windows with their BB guns or vandalizing the vegetable garden.)

I'm not whining about all of this to get sympathy or because I want to be the subject of a Lifetime movie. I only air my grievances to point out that people can be mean, people in 'positions of authority' don't always have genuine authority, nor do they necessarily know the correct way to handle situations.

Most "bullies" belittle others to try and make themselves feel powerful or to divert attention from their own shortcomings. In a nutshell it doesn't matter; we all have baggage, we all have sensitivities, we all make bad judgment calls from time to time, and we don't always have back-up.

The trials and tribulations of my youth (and adulthood) are still very much a part of who I am --- exorcising negativity is never as easy as the quotes and adages would have you believe --- but the important lesson is that perception is everything. Once you decide what you want to take from a situation you can use it to your advantage.

Have I forgiven all of my 'transgressors'? Yeah, pretty much. Do I hope that some of them see this post and 'perceive' that I'm saying they had far worse coping skills than I ever have? Yep.

With apologies to Jonah Hill for making a soap box out of his molehill, I shall finish my edu-rant with a pearl of wisdom for the 21st century:

I'm rubber; you're glue: Whatever you say, bounces off of me and sticks to you.

. . .

Jenni Dangel is a White Oak-based artist and a member of the board of directors of Tube City Community Media Inc. Opinions expressed in commentaries are not those of Tube City Community Media Inc. Tube City Community Media is committed to printing viewpoints from residents of McKeesport and the surrounding area. To submit a commentary, email tube city tiger at gmail dot com, or write to Tube City Online, P.O. Box 94, McKeesport 15134.