Category: default || By jt3y

FROM STAFF AND WIRE REPORTS

A 53-year-old North Versailles Township man was arrested today after police say he exhibited insufficient Steeler fandom.

Armed with arrest and search warrants, state police and agents from the Department of Steeler Nation Security arrested Joseph A. Stushkowski at his Greensburg Avenue home. Police said that when he was apprehended, he was peeling potatoes on top of last Sunday's special Post-Gazette section about the Steelers.

Stushkowski was arraigned at the Heinz Field Great Hall by U.S. Senior District Judge Charles H. Noll on charges of failure to purchase, consume or transport Steeler merchandise; attempted ignorance of the over-under; and possession of non-football-related library books with intent to read them.

He was released after posting 50 quarts of Hagan Steelers Sundae Ice Cream as bond. A hearing has not yet been set.

The arrest comes on the eve of Saturday's match-up between the Steelers and the New York Jets, and follows a series of highly-publicized raids on Steeler Sundays at bookstores, art museums and the Pittsburgh Zoo, where officials allege people were "flagrantly ignoring" football games.

John Fedko, chief prosecutor for the Department of Steeler Nation Security for the Western District of Pennsylvania, said agents received an anonymous tip that Stushkowski had failed to wear Steelers garb today, which was officially declared "Black and Gold Day" by Pittsburgh Mayor Tom Murphy.

According to court documents, further investigation revealed that he had been known to go grocery shopping or set up appointments on Sundays in the fall and winter without ever considering whether the Steelers were playing.

Today's raid on the suspect's home uncovered no evidence of Steelers jerseys, caps, commemorative beer cans or foam hats, Fedko said.

"And yet we did find a hat from the Hamilton Tiger-Cats," he said. "Canadian football. It's almost as if he was mocking us."

Neighbors said they had been suspicious of Stushkowski's level of Steelers fandom for months.

"He doesn't even fly a black and gold Steelers flag on his house," said Wilson Spaulding, who lives nearby. "Just that American one. And yinz mean to tell me that he can't even bother to wear a Steelers tassle cap in the wintertime?"

Spaulding, clad in an authentic Jerome Bettis jersey, pointed to evidence of Steeler fandom at other houses on the street, including bedsheets with spray-painted "7"'s that flapped from several windows.

"You can see it doesn't take much, so there's no excuse," Spaulding said. "Between these miniature Steelers helmet twinkle lights, the flag, the inflatable Steeler player, the black and gold artificial flowers and the canvas banners, I've probably only spent a few thousand dollars."

Stushkowski's attorney, Clifford Stoudt of Columbus, Ohio, said his client's commitment to the Steelers is "unquestionable."

"He listens to all of the Steelers games on the radio, owns several of Jim O'Brien's books, an authentic cork bulletin board silk screened with the statistics of the Steelers' 1978 championship season, and an original yellow on white 'Terrible Towel' purchased by his father at Gimbels' Eastland store," Stoudt said. "I call that long-term loyalty."

But prosecutors and legal experts said that Steelers nostalgia is not enough.

"This is a new team, a new time," said Mark Madden, who holds the Pittsburgh Brewing Co. chair in the Department of Steelermania at Robert Morris University. "This is a chance for a new generation to cheer for new heroes."

The Department of Steeler Nation Security, or Stenatsec, was formed after radical cowboys from Dallas, Texas, launched terrorist attacks against Steeler Nation on Jan. 28, 1996.

Comprised of a merger between Franco's Italian Army, Gerela's Gorillas, Frenchy's Foreign Legion and Bradshaw's Brigade, the department has recently been criticized for alleged abuse of prisoners, including reports that detainees have been forced to listen to The Fan Club's rendition of "Here We Go Steelers" for up to 24 hours straight.

Yet prosecutors say drastic measures are necessary to prevent other forms of sports fandom from overtaking Steelermania. According to declassified intelligence reports from field agents of Stenatsec, there remain pockets of football resistance in Western Pennsylvania, where fans hold out for baseball and basketball, and even soccer and hockey.

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To Do This Weekend: You may have heard rumors about a football game Saturday. Don't become the next statistic.