Category: default || By jt3y
The Office of Steelerland Security has issued the following statement:
Please attempt to remain calm in this moment of crisis. Residents are urged to shelter in place and monitor local 24-hour radio and TV coverage of today's tragic incident. Large-scale evacuations are not recommended at this time.
In the event that sheltering at home remains impossible, please proceed immediately to your nearest sports bar.
We do not expect the current emergency to last more than a week or so. But in the event that it does, all residents are strongly encouraged to take preventative measures to stave off anxiety and stress disorders.
Breathing into a paper bag may help. You may also wish to lie down in a dark, quiet room with a damp Terrible Towel on your head.
Under no circumstances should you watch your highlights DVD from last season.
If you are unable to sleep for extended periods, either seek professional assistance or watch a Pirates game.
This possibly may be your greatest posting ever. Your skewering of the “all Ben all the time” mode taken despite such stories as Bush in Iraq and Diener’s drug plea and the first hurricane of the season, with a side hit for the Bums of PNC Park, is a classic.
a guy who left his Pirate cap at North Irwin Town Hall - June 14, 2006
I agree with the above poster. This post is great. Also…I heard that Big Ben Roethlisberger was NOT wearing a helmet! :O
samk - June 14, 2006
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