Category: default || By jt3y

I didn't mention it at the time, because it had nothing to do with Our Fair City or the Mon-Yough area, but parts of our region are apparently still recovering from Anthrocon.

This is a national convention of people who collect art, comic books, stories, videos ("murals, postcards, neckties, samplers, stained glass windows, tattoos!") featuring anthropomorphic (walking, talking, or otherwise acting like people) animals.

At its basic level, this amounts to an enthusiasm for Walt Disney and Warner Brothers cartoons and anime, much like people might be engrossed in fantasy baseball, or "Star Trek."

But as with every hobby, some folks go to extremes; there's a whole subculture of people who are turned on by anthro porn. And no, the Almanac does not intend to link to any of those sites.

(I'm reminded of Garth's comment to Wayne in "Wayne's World": "Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he'd put on a dress and play a girl bunny?")

In between, there are folks who like to dress up in "fursuits" and walk around costumed completely or partially as their favorite animals, and to his dismay, Officer Jim, Alert Reader and Sometime Guest Almanacker, found some video shot in Picksberg and the rest of the Greater McKeesport area. He writes:

Oh. My. I just ... I can't possibly describe how ... there are no words that can convey just how creeped out watching this clip made me feel. I must now go wash out my memory.

To tell you the truth, Officer Jim, maybe five years of working in Oakland, and four years of school there, numbed me, but this barely nudges my Weird-o-Meter. In my lifetime, I've seen:

• Grown men get into screaming fights over whose toy trains are allowed to run where;
  
  
• PhD candidates roll dice to determine whether their dragon will be slain by an "orc"; and,
  
  
• People lighting candles on top of skulls to summon spirits from the netherworld to bless their new year.

Also, I've seen the Pirates play what is charitably called "baseball." Talk about real horror shows.

And let's face it: In McKeesport over the last few years, we've had a person critically wounded when an amateur surgeon performed a castration on their dining room table; a girl who was allegedly locked in a bedroom for almost 10 years by a school security guard; and someone microwaving a fake penis in a convenience store at the corner of Walnut and Fifth.

So, dressing up as an animal and walking around the Golden Triangle may be odd, but on a weirdness scale of 1 to 10, with Perry Como being a "1" and Michael Jackson being a "10," this is no more than a "6," along with people who go to Star Trek conventions dressed as Lt. Worf. Shriners riding around in little cars might be a "2" or a "3." Mimes would be a "4" or "5."

. . .

One curious thing I did notice: All of these fursuiters seem to pick totem animals like wolves, dogs, foxes, lions, tigers, horses, zebras, etc. --- in other words, creatures known for their beauty, or their cunning, or their nobility.

No one ever seems to want to dress up as a stink bug, a sewer rat, or a leech.

. . .

In other business, don't ask me how I stumbled onto this, but I did, and it's just in time for Independence Day (the day, not the movie).

First, I thought Cracked magazine (actually Cracked mazagine if I remember correctly) had gone out of business, but apparently it's back.

Second, maybe I need to grow up, because I thought it was funny: "What if Fox News Was Around During the American Revolution?"

. . .

Finally, apropos of Friday's Almanac, Dave Copeland offers helpful hints for shaving one's head. Look, I give you guys (that is, yinz) who shave your heads a lot of credit. I just have no intention of doing it any time soon.

I'm just convinced that if I shave my head, although I'll be trying to look like this:



... instead, I'll look like this:



On the other hand, if a convention of people who like to dress up like their favorite Muppets comes to town, I'll be like a god to them.