Tube City Almanac

August 09, 2007

The Big Story

Category: default || By jt3y

In Other News: Worst. Mascot Name. Ever. "Steely McBeam"? It's almost like the Steelers purposely tried to come up with the lamest possible sobriquet for their giant, grotesque, foam-headed freak show.

What was the selection process? I envision a scene similar to the one on The Simpsons when Poochie was announced as the new character on "Itchy and Scratchy":

ART ROONEY II: The rest of you PR guys start thinking up a name for this funky steelworker; I dunno, something along the line of say... "Steely McBeam," only more proactive.

KEVIN COLBERT: Yeah!

[Rooney, Colbert and the lady leave]

PR GUY: So, Steely McBeam okay with everybody?

ALL: [reclining in their chairs] Yeah...


I'm not sure why the Steelers felt the need for a mascot. I understand why the Pirates have so many mascots --- they're trying to distract people from looking at the field --- but do the Steelers need to goose attendance with a mascot?

Maybe it's a clever strategic move by the Steelers. Every time Steely comes out on the field, they're hoping the opposing team collapses in laughter.

And yes, I know the name was submitted by a fan. To paraphrase H.L. Mencken, no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of fans.

"Steely McBeam"? Holy hopping Pirate Parrots, that's just terrible.

. . .

UPDATE, 4:35 P.M.: OK, so when Danny O. declares a state of emergency, I guess rainstorms have legitimately become a big news story.

I apologize if anyone was offended; when I wrote the Almanac early this morning, things weren't as bad as they got later on.

So I took down this morning's sarcastic commentary, because I felt it was no longer appropriate.

And everyone knows we run a classy website here.

By the way, numerous reports indicate that Route 837 (River Road) is closed between Clairton and Dravosburg because of a mudslide, so avoid that area.

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