Category: General Nonsense, Mon Valley Miscellany || By

Kennywood spent a lot of time last week assuring Pittsburghers that nothing was going to change when the park is sold to a Spanish company next year.

Oh, yeah? Well, take a look at what I bought Tuesday night in a Hallmark card store in West Mifflin:

As you probably know, Garfield is the official cartoon mascot of Kennywood, and now our new conquistadors have got him speaking some kind of weird Spanish propaganda, probably hoping to soften us up for their upcoming invasion. (Poor Garfield. All he wanted is a nap, and some lasagna. Now he's the Manchurian Candidate. Or something like that.)

The inquisitors are probably already putting Kenny Kangaroo on the rack. (And I'll bet they've got the comfy chair, too.)

Remember the Maine! Remember the Alamo! And don't fire until you see los blancos de sus ojos!

. . .

But Seriously, Folks: OK, so here's the translation: "I think I've finally found my calling ... I mean, what other job requires you to be overweight and work only once a year? Merry Christmas!"

It's from Hallmark's "Sinceramente" line, and yes, you can buy them in Mon-Yough area Hallmark stores.

The Kennywood sale is just a coincidence, I'm sure. (Or at least that's what they want you to think.)

Actually, I happen to think it's pretty cool that we finally have enough Spanish speakers to justify stocking Spanish-language cards in the Hallmark stores (they also have Christmas cards in Mandarin and Vietnamese, but indicative of Pittsburgh's heritage, the selection of cards in Eastern European languages is still large, too).

. . .

P.S.: UPDATE: Cyrus of "The Lair of the Okapi" says I'm a "xenophobe" and "small-minded."

I happen to know that my mind is average-sized. Or at least my skull is. I take a size 7-1/8 Bailey Hat.

However, I will admit to being a xenophobe. Lucy Lawless could beat the crud out of me.

. . .

In Other News: And now, to quote Rocket J. Squirrel (who's still proudly American, as far as I know), here's something we hope you'll really like.

The McKeesport Symphony Orchestra announced Saturday night that its May 17 concert is tentatively slated to be a "pops" concert featuring vocals by Jimmy Beaumont and The Skyliners.

If it happens, it should be a great show. (It's already been posted on the Skyliners' website, so I don't think it's a secret.) The MSO would like to make this a sell-out concert, so if you've never seen the orchestra because you "don't like classical music," this would be a good concert to start with.

By the way: Despite lousy weather, attendance was reasonably good at Saturday's Christmas concert. The MSO offered its usual solid performance, with vocal help in the second part of the bill from the McKeesport Area Community Choir, an amalgam of singers from several Mon-Yough area choruses.

Between the halves, members of the Mon Valley Youth Orchestra gave a brief recital under the direction of Kevin King.

Hey, even if you're not a big classical music fan (I can barely tell my Bach from a hole in the ground), you ought to consider attending the MSO's next regularly scheduled concert on Saturday, March 8, at McKeesport Area High School.

It's an inexpensive way to hear great music (both new and old pieces) performed by local professional musicians, and you don't have pay for parking in Downtown Pittsburgh.

Tickets for either the March 8 concert or the May 17 concert with the Skyliners are available at the MSO website, or call (412) 664-2854 for more information.