Category: General Nonsense, Mon Valley Miscellany || By

A reliable source tells Tube City Almanac that the upcoming film The Road, starring Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron, will be shooting some scenes in Braddock at an abandoned car dealership.

The Road is based on Cormac McCarthy's best-selling novel of the same name and is set to begin filming around Pittsburgh later this month. (PittGirl has information for people who want to work as extras.)

According to Reuters, the film is being co-produced by Mt. Lebanon native and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban.

. . .

A review at Amazon.com describes The Road's setting as "a post-apocalyptic blight of gray skies that drizzle ash, a world in which all matter of wildlife is extinct, starvation is not only prevalent but nearly all-encompassing, and marauding bands of cannibals roam the environment with pieces of human flesh stuck between their teeth."

Naturally, after reading that description, the producers thought the perfect place to film was in the Mon Valley. (Rimshot.)

But you horndogs can put your tongues back in your mouth. I am told that Charlize probably won't be in Braddock (although ladies, listen up: apparently Viggo Mortensen might be).

Hmmpfh. What does Viggo Mortensen have that I don't have? (OK, don't answer that.)

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Speaking of Braddock: Did you know that Lauren Tewes, who played "Julie," the cruise director on The Love Boat, is from Braddock?

Wow. There will be a slight pause while you say, "Who cares?"

. . .

In Other Turtle Creek Valley Film News: Kevin Smith is filming his new movie in Monroeville, including some scenes at Monroeville Mall, but as Zandy Dudiak points out in the Woodland Progress, not all of us were getting with the program:

While they may have some name recognition among mall rats and clerks --- at least younger ones --- Smith and the film's stars, Seth Rogen of "Knocked Up" fame and Elizabeth Banks of "Scrubs," still aren't well known among the older crowd.

(Editor's note: They would have recognized a real celebrity, like Ken Rice.)

"They're shooting a movie that's coming out next Christmas," Lunney says, unaware of the film's somewhat-irreverent title, "Zack and Miri Make a Porno."

It sounds like fine Christmas viewing to me. After all, how many times can you watch Miracle on 34th Street?

It's the second movie Smith has filmed in the Mon-Yough area; as you may remember, many scenes from Dogma were shot in and around Our Fair City.

Kevin, bubbeleh, if you need a balding, 30-something yinzer, just call me; we'll do lunch at Tillie's.

(More semi-official Kevin Smith news here.)

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More Theater News: According to a story in last night's Daily News by Bonnijean Adams (no link online), CCAC South Campus is receiving complaints over its decision to stage The Vagina Monologues this weekend.

Easily offended Mon Valley residents are objecting; they don't like seeing "that word" on the CCAC marquee along Clairton Road.

You know which word. ("Monologues.")

No, no, that's not the word they're worried about. But it's worth noting that Wilson Christian Academy is almost next door to CCAC South, so I guess a lot of parents are driving past the sign.

Maybe CCAC could change the play's advertising based on callers' suggestions. They could bill it as "The Your Dirty, Sinful, Lady-Parts Monologues." (Rimshot.)

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To Do This Weekend: McKeesport Heritage Center celebrates Black History Month with a free presentation of York on Sunday at 2 p.m.

Join actor and scriptwriter Gregory Gibson Kenney of Educate Us Productions as he portrays York, the only African American on the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Performed at the heritage center located in Renziehausen Park, the dramatic 30-minute monologue will be followed by a 15-minute question and answer period. The program is open to the public but space is limited so plan to come early. Light refreshments will be served.

Kenny, who trained with the Pittsburgh Playhouse in association with Point Park University, has appeared in numerous theatrical productions, commercials, and feature films. His company, Educate Us Productions, strives to educate each audience in history through theater while showcasing the lives of historical figures as they face trials, goals, triumphs and achievements. Call (412) 678-1832.

Meanwhile, CCAC South Theater, 1750 Clairton Road, West Mifflin, presents The Your Dirty, Sinful, Lady-Parts Monologues The Vagina Monologues today and tomorrow. Call (412) 469-6219 for tickets and showtimes.