Tube City Almanac

February 21, 2008

Live News at :55

Category: Pointless Digressions, Politics || By

Here's what's making news this hour in WIXZ-land:

  • Bill Clinton has come to John McCain's defense, while Joe Biden says that in his opinion, Barack Obama is not guilty of plagiarism.


  • Hillary Clinton is promising to restore democracy to the Democratic Party. She says convention delegates will greet her as a liberator.


  • Finally, reports from Arkansas indicate that after complaints from the '70s rock group Boston, Mike Huckabee has stopped using "More Than a Feeling" as his theme song.

    Huckabee will instead adopt Sam Cooke's "Wonderful World" ... "Don't know much about history ... don't know much biology ..."


  • Meanwhile, requests for immigration papers made to Canadian and Australian authorities have gone up for three straight years.

    Immigration officials in both nations say they're eying the current U.S. presidential candidates warily.


  • A woman in Kitchener, Ontario, will be allowed to return home after public health officials removed more than 4,000 mice from the residence.

    Jinks the Cat could not be reached for comment.


Turning to local news:

  • Former McKeesport contractor Thomas Cousar pleaded guilty in federal court this week to defrauding the federal government out of $850,000.

    Cousar's now-defunct construction company, Capco Inc., was hired to help in the reconstruction of the Pentagon after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. Instead, prosecutors say, Cousar diverted the supplies and building material to other projects.

    The Justice Department says that Cousar could face time in federal prison, if they can find one that's not missing several walls.


  • Despite assurances from Century III Mall that everything is "business as usual" and that the shopping center is not in trouble, West Mifflin officials have learned that the mall's owners asked for a 41 percent reduction on their property taxes.

    A Century III spokeswoman says that they had to appeal their property assessment; the mall is "so popular," she says, that "no one goes there any more."

    Members of the West Mifflin borough council say that the tax appeal "ain't over 'til it's over."


  • In other news, there are rumors that Yogi Berra's lawyers are considering a copyright infringement lawsuit against Century III Mall and the Borough of West Mifflin.


In sports: the Pirates yesterday opened their first full day of spring training in Bradenton, Fla.

They have now been officially eliminated from playoff contention in the NL East Central.

Here's your WIXZ-land weather: The county Health Department has advised residents to huddle over a witch's bosom to keep warm. It's winter in Western Pennsylvania. Deal with it.

This newscast was sponsored by the Peters Packing Co., conveniently located next to Brick Alley in McKeesport. Remember: Nobody beats Peters' meat!






Your Comments are Welcome!

It’s all Kennywood’s fault!!!
The Dude from West Mifflin - February 21, 2008




Best post I’ve read in a long time. Loved that “They have officially been eliminated from playoff contention in the NL East.” It’s always best to have a sense of humor about such things.
Bulldog - February 21, 2008




The Pirates play in the NL Central. I suppose that fact alone knocks them from contention in the NL East!
Wade - February 21, 2008




Way to mess up a good joke with facts, Wade. ;-)
Webmaster - February 21, 2008




Careful kid. My mom worked at Peter’s and never played with the meat…. ;)

Sluggo
Paul Shelly (URL) - February 21, 2008




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